A soft indentation-
two toes-
marks the ground,
a blank reminder
of what has been here before me.
I try to feel amazed,
to marvel at this muddy imprint,
to feel lucky at my chance notice-
but I want to see the deer,
steam streaming from her nostrils
as she stares at me,
thin legs threatening
to give way,
small brown head
trembling in the cold.
I want to see her bound away,
her tail high in the air,
her two-toed hooves
marking the ground.
-Benjamin F. Williams
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22 comments:
image- a deer walking in the snow with a hunter following it.
setting- the forest in the winter.
mood- wanting something
message-i didn't get a message from this pooem.
david f.
k.p.m
I am not a huge fan of this peom. It didn't reach out and grab me as some of the other poetry that we read did. The subject of the peom, in my opinion, is unimportant.
Danielle S.
K.P.M
Image-deer foot print in the snow
Setting- In the forest mid winter
mood-happy,exciting
message-I dont think there is a message for this poem
Justin M
KPM
setting/image:a boy walking in the bush and found a deer print in the dirt.
mood:sad
greg A.
kpm
After reading this poem I kind of wanted to see a deer too.
Lesley-Anne L.
L.F.P.S
I see a young deer in the snow, it feels kind of lonely.To me, this poem describes the deer as a small, delicate creature.
Caelin M.
LFPS
The image i saw in my head was a hunter finding deer prints, finding a deer and ready to shoot it. I'm not sure what to think of this poem.
Kurtis C.
L.F.P.S
Since i go walking in the bush alot i know what this personne is talking about. The thrill of discovering the imprint an animal has left behind,the knowledge that everything leaves it's mark on the world.
Sam.T L.F.P.S
I thought that this poem really showed almost everything that the poet that thinking. I Also think that think there as some thing that he could do to make the image thathe was trying to set easier to find. The image that I saw was a mother deer with her baby deer keeping him warm in the winter's coldness. The mood i thought was very calm at the start and the mood for me stared to change after about the midle.
Allie C.
L.F.P.S
I like how this poem is telling the truth about nature and what happens.
Mackayla N
L.F.P.S
Mood - waiting for something
Setting/image - a deer walking in a muddy part of the forest with a person following
Message - no message
Holly D.
KPM
This poem confuses me.
WTF???
I really liked to wording in this poem. I could really picture what and where the deer was.This poem remindes me of hunting because it is hunting season and when you picture a deer in hunting season you picture other bad moments but i see where the writer is coming from!
I can't beleve that that would be so cool but exeped if there was a hunter right behind it.
shelby E.
This peom makes my want to hunt and see a deer too, it was a ok peom but it didn't catch my attantion like some of the other deer peoms iv read.
P.S Iv never read a deer poam before this one.
this pome was the most stupeds thing ever you need to start to make so sence if you want to get a good respons but i think it was ok well i rilly rilly rilly rilly loved it you no it cind of sucks agen but it is ok no...not no it is cind of good....NOT...NOT...not no it is ok .......it is kind of good...just joking .
Kayliegh W. KPManson
this poem is very strong and i think that the picture you get is a person walking in the bush and see's a deer and like's how pretty it looks
your poum was cool. I think you did a good job discribing the deer.
waren w
K.P.M
While i was reading, i imagined me as a tourist walking on a trail, but i got lost by going off the trail. When i was walking around in the woods i found a deer print in some mud. When i lopoked up from looking at the deer print i saw a baby deer alone. I looked lost like the torist. It reminded me of when i was walking the trails in my back yard and i seen a deer print.
Haley K
KPM
i think this poem is about taking the time to see whats around you.
if you don't see whats around you
you won't see the amazing things
like in this case the deer.
if the person did not notice the things around him he would not have seen the deer
brittney b
kpm
I write poertry and this is a deep poem. here is one of my best: Ode to Youth
Inspired by Tim Piper
Ode to Youth
Youth is...
Dancing crazy in your room. Playing an air guitar in front of a mirror during a rock song. Falling asleep in class then getting in trouble by the teacher. Youth is the satisfaction you get for staying up past midnight without your parents knowing, then being so tired during the day that they realize what happened. It’s about annoying your siblings then having them return the favor. It’s all about having your first crush, then making a fool of yourself around them. Youth is day dreaming in class then being asked a question you don’t know the answer to. It’s all about not getting your way then being grumpy for the rest of the day. Youth is about dreaming big and having your parents annoy you with questions. Youth is about trying to finish your homework but becoming bored with it. It’s talking in class without getting caught. And your parents not letting you watch TV. It’s sleeping over at your friend’s house, but instead staying up all night because you ate too much candy. It’s thinking that you are hungry then getting a stomachache. Youth is thinking you are the coolest in your new pink shirt. It’s thinking that shopping at Justice is an upscale thing to do. And it’s your mom walking you into class on the first day then giving you a big kiss on the head. Don’t forget that it’s a roller coaster ride of emotions and it’s transforming your room into a stage so you can rock out in front of the mirror. It’s longing for the guy you like to talk to you, it’s longing to get out of school so you can sleep all day ...So you can sing... dance... perform...and be loved all in the same day.
please reply!
This poem is true for us all. again another piece of my poetry:Paint me as me. Paint me with hope for the future and in a joyful day. Paint me as a singer, Paint me as a dancer, Paint me as a Poet and an actress. Paint me as a girl with no learning disability, a smile on my face. Paint me in a world with no illness. Paint me free. Paint me free from the bonds of illness, hurt, suffering, and death. Paint me happy. Paint me bold. Paint me proud. But most of all, Paint me out loud.
I hope you all like these poems. they take a while!
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